The Ethos of Eros

Posts Tagged ‘holding hands


Its true (and apt here) what this columnist named Anna Strongin has honestly admitted in herΒ article,

“For whatever reason, when I’m trying to avoid studying I frequently find that my mind trails to the subject of sex.”

Now whenever I’m on vacation (which is pretty much ‘routine’ for someone who’s still a student), I usually plan my time in a way that I spend it most productively. Not that I resent or repent this attitude for its got me a lion’s share of experience in the field, yet i truly and utterly never had a mental vacation. This season i’m having my first and yes, i’m absolutely loving it. Yet, my traditional need for productivity, my only excuse of my neuroticism, still needs to be sublimated, channelized.

And while I usually fantasize all the REALLY dirty stuffs, surprising to my inherently unromantic nature i found myself romanticizing those small yet significant gestures that we participate, unfortunately, only in the commencement of our new found love.

It is my earnest effort to bring focus (through my writings and other postings) to the less spoken about or heard of. And I don’t suppose “getting to first base” is anything to glorify to your peers or co-workers yet we all know how wide is the gap between social displays and intimate reality.

‘Holding hands’

Ahhh…the chill that runs down your spine when that special other just slips his useful hand (especially if that is his working hand!)into yours as a full and final acknowledgement of his feelings to you and as an acclamation that there’s nothing better he’d like to do with it (although it shouldn’t be because he has nothing better to do).

‘Playing footsies’

Yes, its absolutely 6th grade level romance yet it has this infantile charm of innocence with a slight bit of a Devil’s streak. Sure ‘adult’ style, you can take your foot far upwards to base 3 πŸ˜‰


This is my personal favourite which is why I like my men big and soft :). But it expanses into various kinds in different settings and situations. The suggestion may seem fluffy yet creates an intense emotional orgasm. So whether in the car seat, naked in bed, on the sofa while watching your favourites or just even looking out the window or next to the fireplace, its a total tenner. But avoid getting too comfortable in a restaurant or a party.

‘Soft kisses’

Keyword: SOFT! Because the agitated ones swiftly and directly lead to sex. Not that those are undesirable but simply not the point of this piece πŸ™‚
Interestingly there’s something called a kissing sex, a union only of the lips and tongue and take it from me, it is more than satiating! πŸ˜›

‘Hickies a.k.a. love bites’

The first trademarks of sexual liberty and our naive stamp of love. I have to say, though, more than anything we derive a sense of social pride from it. Either way, its fun to leave evidences of the moments of the night/day before.

‘Dancing’ (…in the moonlight, ideally I suppose)

Yes, more than anything, its a purely romantic gesture. But then we all have seen or at least heard more than enough about ‘Dirty Dancing’. Taking dancing classes together is God awful romantic without question and a healthy way of spending that ‘quality time’ couples’ counsellors endlessly rave about. My simple suggestion would be to just set your itunes to ‘Flightless bird American mouth’ by Iron & Wine and float away in each others’ arms.

‘Hand jobs’

Somehow hand jobs alone aren’t given much credit. Its another one of those ol’ naughty ways of passionate lovers to do each other, minus the hassle of getting naked or on each top of each other. Its thrilling to have a private time discrete from public knowledge and speaks volume of the understanding and chemistry between the two.
This may sound too forward to be added to such a descriptive directory of sweet “nothings” but eventually we all like to move (if only slowly) towards our destinations, although it not being the ultimate point of it all.

I have consciously evaded ‘serenading under the sky’ in the list as i’m not a personal fan. Nothing more touching than someone dedicating a number to you and hitting it in the best chords they can. However, it has an equal potential to turn out corny or plain crappy. Besides, its also more of a courtship gesture of a more one sided effort to please the other. In my own opinion, the worst from the Victorian ages.

I hope to have rekindled memories and the tingling joy of these gestures that in social science has been reduced to ‘first base’ of sexual intimacy. But sex is just an overrated experience if the built up to intimacy, that lays the foundation of a psychological even spiritual connection, is underrated.


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